my brother just sat my mum down in the living room and started crying and she was getting really worried and he burst out with ‘I’M PREGNANT’ completely seriously, and my mum started yelling and was like ‘OH MY GOD, what the fuck, I raised you to be responsible’ and she was literally ranting for about 10 minutes until she realised and quietly walked out of the room
June 2013
If you invite me to a party please make sure to have a cat or dog present so I have someone to hang out with.
i’m glad the shit that lives in the ocean lacks the ability to leave the ocean because most of it is scary as fuck
i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
get out
“hey do you want the rest of my-“
Sometimes I’m like “sleep is for the weak”
Sometimes I’m like “sleep is for the week”
There is no in between.
imagine if trees gave off wifi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we’d probably save the planet too
insects bug me
if you can’t reach it without leaving your bed it’s obviously not that important
i love the sense of community in the classroom when you all know you failed the test
i feel sorry for the teenagers in 2300 who need to study more history than we already need to
CAN WE JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THAT AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER LITERALLY MADE AN EPISODE PARODYING THEIR ENTIRE SERIES.
May 2013
today a guy confirmed that at boy sleepovers they do in fact talk about girls and who they like a good majority of the time i just thought this would be useful information
Why does this have so many notes? What did you think we do at sleepovers? Meth? Animal sacrifice?Well thats what girls do
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like its ok and wait for my opportunity to destroy them
haha its so awkward when youre digging a hole to hide a body and you find another body.
Ma**achusetts
